1. "You can’t speed chemistry up. I think the more practice, the more you get familiar with each other. There’s no hit the fast forward button here. You’ve got Comcast. Some shows you can’t fast forward through. You’ve just got to let it go through and watch the silly ass commercials and be pissed, right? This is what this is. Did I just take a shot at Comcast? Fuck it, I did it. So what? I’m a DirecTV guy anyway. This is what this is. I’m not helping myself, am I? Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Who cares? Anyway, that’s what this is. We totally messed that up, right? Goddamned, we just totally messed that up. But this is one of those things where it just takes its course and you can’t speed anything up."
    — Kevin Garnett, everyone! At least he didn’t make any uzi references.
     

  2. "Chemistry is something that you don’t just throw in the frying pan and mix it up with another something, then throw it on top of something, then fry it up and put it in a tortilla and put in a microwave, heat it up and give it to you and expect it to taste good. You know? For those of you who can cook, y’all know what I’m talking about. If y’all can’t cook, this doesn’t concern you."
     

  3. "Shaq is like paradise, man. You ever wash your sheets and then go outside and hang them out, and the sun dries them? You ever smell the sheets? That’s what Shaq is."
    — Kevin Garnett on Shaquille O’Neal